The latest madness doing rounds on some sections of Luo social media is a strange campaign to shove Ruto down the throats of the Onagi nation. Not because he’s performing, but to punish Atwara (Kuyos), who, according to them, voted him in to allegedly punish Baba, but they have fallen out politically. Their weapon of choice? Digging up the tired Luo-Kikuyu political rivalry, the same one Uhuru and Raila jointly buried (with full ceremony) in 2022.
But what’s even more laughable is the sheer lack of imagination in this so-called campaign. Do you mean to tell me that Luos, with degrees hotter than thermometers, are going to fall for this tired script? What do these political bloggers take Luos for? Do they think we are using our heads to store othinyo (mucus)? This is a community that has chewed books. Where a boda boda rider is a revolutionary who can quote Shakespeare. If you throw a stone, it’s likely to land on a degree holder and if it misses, it hits someone pursuing their second Master’s degree.
Yet here we are, being primed to vote for the man currently auctioning the country in broad daylight as the solution to the historical grievances. Because apparently, according to Kanyuma’s & hare-brained bloggers’ philosophy, if Kikuyus are crying, then we must be winning. This is the political equivalent of burning your own house so that your neighbour’s curtains catch fire from the smoke.
Let’s call it what it is; ethnic pettiness dressed up in revolutionary salad. It’s like refusing to eat and your deluded mind tells you that it’s your enemy who’s growing thin. A win is a win?
Some of these Luo bloggers have now become professional trauma recyclers. They take genuine historical pain, sprinkle some selective memory, add three cups of fake outrage, and voilà, a steaming plate of Ruto support, served hot with a side of ochuri (bile). And the mighty Luo nation, the community that has been donating Kenya its sharpest thinkers like Argwings Ko’dhek, Dr Odhiambo Mbai, Grace Ogot, Bethwell Ogot, Robert Ouko, Orie Rogo Manduli, Prof Anyang’ Nyong’o, amongst others, are expected to clap?
Are you angry because you feel Kikuyus have never fully embraced Baba’s presidential ambitions? Fine. That’s your constitutional right. But to respond by voting for the man who’s running the country like a failed public toilet? That’s not revenge, that’s a drug-resistant and incurable neko (madness).
Have you been to Nyeri lately? Or Kiambu? The same economy that has choked Awuor in Kisumu has also humbled Wanjiku in Karatina. School fees? Still unaffordable. Joblessness? National. Extrajudicial executions, abductions and forced disappearances? Still a national terror. Ojwang’ who was executed by the police hasn’t even spent a week in his grave but he must be joining the long list of revolutionary dead sons and daughters of the lake who are rolling in their graves because of the shameful posts by these bloggers.
But go off, tell yourself Kikuyus are suffering more now that they are allegedly not in government (8 of the 22 Cabinet positions, 22 out of 51 Principal Secretaries, and hundreds of board chairpersons) if that helps you sleep through the hunger pangs.
It’s amazing how we Luos are always the first to say “We are the conscience of the nation,” until Baba shakes a hand and it’s time to not just flex historical pain but attempt to justify the unjustifyable by rewriting history. Then suddenly, we’re out here voting like vengeful nyawawa (bad spirits).
Do you want to teach Kikuyus a lesson? Run your counties well. Hold your leaders accountable. Eat with your mouth closed. Start a library in Homa Bay. Equip hospitals in Siaya. Mentor a group of jobless youths in Kisumu. But voting for the tax master general just to see Kikuyus cry? That’s not a strategy, that’s stupidity sprinkled with witchcraft.
Also, let’s not pretend Ruto is some poor innocent man caught in our tribal games. The man is playing both sides like a seasoned Ajawa (modern Ohangla) dancer who’s whining her waist as if it doesn’t have bones. One day he’s handing Kikuyus key positions in the government, the next day he’s planting trees in Bondo, smiling like a reformed sinner. The man is running a political polyamory, and some of you are fighting for favoured side-chick status.
The worst part? Kikuyus are not even checking for us like that. While some Luos are busy plotting their ‘downfall’ by voting back Ruto, they’re busy building a national movement to recapture power, hawking in Nairobi, organising their investment forums, lobbying for more resources, selling cabbages, and exporting mitumba. You think you’re punishing them, but they’re too busy hustling to notice. This is like breaking up with someone and then standing outside their gate yelling, “Look how miserable you are without me,” while they are blasting loud music while having a buffet meal! White noise!
And let’s talk numbers. In what universe does voting for Ruto improve the daily lives of Luo youth? Will tax refunds suddenly appear in Seme? Will bursaries rain down in Mbita? Will the budget be easy on the budget of the ordinary person?
We have become too emotionally available to political manipulation. You hear one speech from Wamunyoro and suddenly you’re ready to vote for Ruto as payback. One tweet about your community from a nondescript online account with a Kikuyu surname and you are burning with rage. This is trauma and ancestral beef.
In short, this entire campaign is proof that some of us didn’t just inherit pain, we’re now subscribing to it monthly, like the famous Lolwe estate relationships.
Let me tell you, tribal spite is not a retirement plan. It will not pay your rent in Manyatta. It will not unclog your sewer in Obunga. It will not reduce the cost of fuel in Kibuye. Voting out of bitterness is like attempting to swallow fulu (a not fully grown tilapia) whole from the tail. You’ll choke and die.
So no, I will not vote for Ruto, period, and certainly not to punish Kikuyus. That’s like swallowing poison and waiting for them to die. It’s not justice. It’s self-harm with tribal seasoning.
Let’s keep our beef where it belongs — on the grill. Not on the ballot.
Nice article